Modesty Contest

Nature, beautiful but deadly! Cats in particular, they're killing machines. From the bacteria they store under their claws to their lightning quick reflexes.  And it turns out they have parasitic properties, too..   Toxoplasma gondii is a nasty parasite that originates only from cats. Parasites form a non-mutually beneficial relationship with their host, not killing them but feeding off their life essence. Apparently, parasites used to only refer to creatures visible to the naked eye, but now include microscopic critters. Not sure when the definition changed, I'm guessing around the time the microscope was invented.  Anyway, cats are the only hosts within which toxoplasma can sexually reproduce to complete and begin its lifecycle, spreading to humans and virtually all other warm-blooded animals. In non-sciencey terms, it begins with a cat eating a mouse or some other animal already infected with the parasite. Then, in the cat's intestines, a hotbed of a...

He strode across the plains like a behemoth. Roy DuPois, King of Peas. He was unlike any other creature known, standing some 250ft tall, a full man, a great man.  None were known. He was unique, a man alone, but always welcome, wherever he went.  The villagers looked up at him, craning. Sometimes his head peeked through the clouds. They cheered his arrival and wept deeply upon his departure.  His smile was as warm as a summer eve, bright as the sun as it radiates through though thin eyelids.  His eyes twinkled like stars and entranced all, creating deep trust throughout the hearts of one and all. They dilated in the sun, piercing through the mist of higher altitudes, focusing on the journeys to be had.  King of Peas! Praise thou!  Everywhere He wandered, the peas they did flourish.  Villages were overrun with peas, they emerged up from the ground, almost animal in nature, springing from the ground as if escaping from the womb to suckle ...

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PART I HERE  Part II Jim had never seen so much blood in his life.  The blood, it was literally everywhere. On the desk, the bookshelf, the cabinet in the corner, the globe on the coffee table, the blinds and especially the ceiling.  Dark splashes across the stucco, as if some Pollock obsessed art school dropout had been experimenting with abstracts of rouge and burgundy, devouring bottles of cheap gin, whipping random patterns, sweeping and spattering across the faded white, curling and exploding in areas.  Rivulets ran down the walls, ending at the dark baseboard and, in some spots, pooling on the dusty hardwood. It momentarily hypnotized him, h e barely took notice of the body splayed across the floor. It was no surprise the secretary had made such a racket earlier when she had burst into the printing office where Jim worked, screaming and babbling, in complete hysterics.  But there he was..Olander was dead, there was no doubt about...

Random weird stuff from ma' brain time! So this MI6 spy guy turns up dead, stuffed in a bag in his tub at home, like two years ago. The case is still ongoing, but its been considered a murder, til' now. Now the police are saying the guy did it to himself, crawling into a bag, locking it and suffocating! Madness..sounds like a conspiracy, close the case, make it go away.. If you are not utilizing Grooveshark for your online music needs, you need to get on it ASAP. It's free, amazing, non-invasive and just all around spectacular. Pandora and other streaming sites pale in comparison. I'm not sure how the hell they are still running, as you can almost find any tune you're looking for.  I have not been paid to promote them, serious! Here is a link to my account , I highly advise you sign up and get to rockin'! Ah, the holidays, a great time to travel ! Hopefully everyone arrives safe & sound, gorges on turkey and sausage and departs once...

Going to see a movie in a theatre is generally a pleasurable experience. Sticky floors, stale popcorn, sitting in the darkness with strangers, enjoying a piece of art. It's great, I love it, it really is the only way to properly enjoy a film. But.. things can go wrong. Horribly wrong. Last night was one such experience and it was dreadful. I have not seen The Third Man , an excellent movie from the late 40's and a wickedly good Graham Greene story, in a long time, so I was excited to see it was screening in the neighbourhood. I invited a buddy of mine to come to, as he enjoys cinema as well. In retrospect, my adulation that the theatre was showing such a classic was a mistake, I got my hopes up pretty high. But, hey, what could go wrong? Go to theatre, buy ticket, watch movie, enjoy immensely and book it. Simple. But, alas, it was not meant to be, for it was organized by some literary club or some shit, and they had a guest speaker before the screening. The speaker ...

Life without the internet for about a month.. it was refreshing! Taking a break, clearing the head, it's a positive jolt! Sure, I missed events, album leaks, the latest videos, TV, online banking, porno, podcasts and shows, but I also appreciated the Toronto summer a bit more, it was a kick! And it felt good to take a step back, for sure. It was getting to be a bit much, spending majority of time in front of a screen. Radiation posioning! Ok, ok! So I wasn't totally  from the net, I did have access at work, gimme a break! In 1838, in England, The People's Charter called for six basic reforms to make the political system more democratic: Every man over 21 who is not a criminal or insane should be allowed to vote. Voting should be done in secret. You do not have to be rich or own property to become an MP. All MPs should be paid for doing their job. All voting areas should be the same size. Elections should be held every year. Cutting edge, right? At th...

All this talk of moving these days, let's devote some time to the act of leaving one's home! Journeys made to some place with the purpose of venerating it, in order to ask there for supernatural aid, to discharge some religious obligation.. heavy stuff! I do hope to get some discharge and aid from my new apartment.. Amanda Bynes got kicked out of her NYC apartment for allegedly tossing a bong off her balcony and smoking in the lobby. She was described by the media in all sorts of ways, from "bong throwing heathen" to "mutated celebrity stoner". Now that's not very nice! I've never tossed a bong, but I think there are worse offences out there..like owning ferrets! This guy in Paris lived in a 17-sq ft apartment for years and was finally booted. He was paying about $400/mo! Now that is a rough go! Oh, wow, there is a website www.mothering.com that has some priceless posts concerning..motherhood, I guess. Here's a...

A nd now ladies and germs, I shall weave a tale of deception, intrigue..and murder! Murder most foul, I say! THE PORT AND THE FLEECE One morning in July a few years back, Olander decided to get an early jump on the day and prepare some outstanding invoices at his office in Saint John, NB. It had been a long time since he had worked at the brewery his family had created (and still run to this day). He never cared much for working for others, instead deciding to manage his own successful firm, running in trucking and various investments. Suddenly, an unidentified person entered his office and words were exchanged. Heated words, perhaps? Talk of money and debt flew, echoing down the empty hall, bouncing and landing on nothing.  He had promised himself not to bail him out again, last time was the final straw, and no more shillings could be fed into this indebted, spending machine. And this time, the sum was triple what it was previously! With great composure and...