Modesty Contest

So they found Richard III's corpse recently, after 500 years resting under a parking lot in Leicester. And now they are planning a $1.5m funeral for him in Leicester Cathedral. Not bad, wonder if any of his friends or incestuous offspring will show up. And it turns out he looks pretty close to way the paintings portrayed him! Art! Huzzah! Now is the summer of our discontent! And while we're on the topic of things probably best left underground, they found water in Timmins, ON that appears to be a quadrillion years old !! What terror lurks beneath the water.. Supposedly, it can support life without the assistance of sunlight and was originally trapped between forming rocks when North America was still a sea-bed. One of the stories mentioned the water being sweet to the taste, but deadly. Not sure how they figured out how it tastes, maybe they had one of the miners try a sip or something. Current death news! Journalist Helen Thomas passed away recentl...

A retired policeman conducts a fast-paced class on conflict management. He shows a video of a woman driven berserk by the fact that you cannot get chicken McNuggets at breakfast time. He asks the class if they have ever had a difficult customer, and every hand goes up. Students are then urged to share their advice. (“Serve drunks quickly…”). Your mom is right next to you!!  Here are a few recipes for mixed drinks that I've cooked up over the years: The Ginger Slim 1oz bourbon (Jack Daniels or Maker's Mark seem to work best) 1/2 bottle of Grace brand Ginger Beer (it's gotta be Grace, no other ginger beer packs a punch like this island brand) 1/4 of a lime Sprig of mint Mix in a Tom Collins glass, serve and enjoy! The Randy Rickey  1oz Tito's Handmade Vodka (gotta be Tito's, yo) 1/4 can of this shit that Arizona tea company makes, Mango Lime Rickey or Pop Shoppe Lime Rickey 1/4 of a lime or lemon, both w...

Shake off dem' blues, gang, it's friday and the city in under a fog of sweaty, swampy humidity. Time to go south.. "you pay but 2 dollars to bring a little girl home / now you're bout to pay two thousand to leave her alone.." Apparently, it's cheaper to keep 'er!  Holy shit, man, this is a gem..

"What a difference a year makes! Last summer, top level government officials , policy experts, industry leaders and nationally noted national security reporters gathered at the third annual Aspen Security forum to consider the question of whether the war on terror was finally over. At that point, bin Laden was dead and gone and untold numbers of would be rivals and foot soldiers were either dead themselves or on the run, core al Qaeda seemed all but irrelevant. Policy makers and pundits were beginning to dig out and dust off their old play-books, pondering anew traditional national security threats from perennial nation-state antagonists like Iran and North Korea; scratching their heads and pulling their chins over the muddle of the Arab Spring, all the while keeping an eye on China's economic, political and military rise and it's implications for America's continued geopolitical primacy" Holy war, what a way to flippantly discuss the security of the free wor...