Modesty Contest

For previous Jazz Friday, click here ! 

Crack-cocaine news time, gang! The illustrious Mayor of Toronto, Kommissar Rob Robert Bobby Booby Ford, looking like a dithering*, hemorrhaging walrus, has recently caused quite the scandal, mainly in his handling of an accusation that he has enjoyed the pleasures of sucking the glass dick.  Most public figures would flatly deny participating in such a low-life high, but Bobby has been bizarrely wishy-washy on the whole thing, as if crack use is kind of a socially acceptable past time, like drinking alcool and smoking an entire pack of Dunhills. Try typing "man who smokes crack" into Google right now, see what comes up. According to some, he's a straight shooter and speaks his mind. If this is true, then, yes, he may very well have smoked the rock of ages, because his response to this issue has been absolutely cracktastic! According to New Jack City, one of the greatest Ice-T movies of all time (other than  Tommy and the Coo...

Late night picture round-up time, guys! 

Interesting news regarding cheese, the most stolen/shop-lifted food item in the world! 4% of the world’s cheese ends up knicked!! And, hey, who doesn't like a nice, buttery piece of Camembert, amirite? Tastes ten times better if its a five finger discount, too. Anyhoo, these stories stink more than a hunk of Gorgonzola cooking in the summer sun! Excerpt Story from HuffPo: "Niagara Regional Police officers have been visiting pizzerias in the peninsula recently asking one important question: Where did you get your cheese? It’s part of a larger internal investigation into cheese smuggling, allegedly by some members of their own force. CBC News has learned from numerous police sources that charges are expected soon against a few officers who are allegedly involved in the movement of caseloads of cheese from the U.S. to sell to Canadian pizzerias and restaurants. The alleged scam involves jamming cases of ‘brick’ cheese—used as a common pizza topping—into thei...

Wowie, went to the Foals show last night and had a great time! What a fun band, both live and recorded; I observed quite a few interesting things last night, at the show and the amazing after party. Bumping shit, guys. And their lead singer looks like a pudgy version of Prince!  (Vid is NSFW and wildly dark, btw)  First, after the show, I saw a physically disabled person literally flying down the side walk using one of those walker things with wheels that you usually see older people using. He was just jetting down the road, I couldn't believe it!  Second, cocaine is a terrible drug. It makes people stink, common manners and courtesy usually go by the wayside, and you just generally act like a complete prick. As North Americans, our diets are not the best. A guy burped in my face and it was a mixture of tobacco, cheeseburger(s) and booger sugar. Toronto can be a rough town for energy & enthusiasm at shows. The Foals show was pr...

Ah, what can be said about the female of the species.. words escape me, but I once heard they were more deadly than the male! Ok, this video/song is pretty cheesy, but my stars, the lady is fit..oh, and they drink something called "Nuvo" which looks and sounds like a shitty, expensive cologne. Probably tastes like it, too. 

Walter Benjamin: 29 September 1928. Saturday. Marseilles.       A fter long hesitation, took hashish at 7 o'clock in the evening. During the day I had been in Aix. I am taking down notes of what possibly follows only to determine whether it will take effect, as my solitariness hardly allows for any other supervision.  Nearby,a small child is crying, who disturbs me. I think that three quarters of an hour have already elapsed. And yet it has actually been only twenty minutes. Thus... apart from a very mild absent-mindedness, nothing's happening. I lay upon the bed, read and smoked. All the while opposite me this glimpse of the belly of Marseilles. (Now the images begin to take hold of me.) The street that I'd so often seen is like an incision cut by a knife. Certain pages in Steppenwolf, which I read early this morning, were the final impetus to take hashish. I definitely feel the effects now. Essentially negative, in that readi...

Ahhhh, summer! It's here, it's intense, I already have a sunburn. Despite popular belief (looking at you, Americans!) we actually get a pretty decent summer in Canada. We crawl from our igloos, reign up the huskies, and welcome the summer with arms wide open, shedding our seal skin coats and dancing nekkid by the fire! Toronto is a fantastic city, I love it with all my heart, and the people ain't half bad either! I've had amazing times in this place, many too inebriated to recall, but I'll do my best. Sailing the high seas of Lake Ontario is a blast. I remember one summer, at least 10 years ago, a beauty of a clear, calm day, my Uncle Wolf and I were out on the lake and all of the sudden, these massive waves came out of nowhere. Swells as high as an elephant's eye, I tells ya. And my uncle is struggling to get the engine working, pounding the hell out of it with a hammer! I was intensely scared, but it was exhilarating to the max. An adrenaline rush...