Careful with that Crack, Eugene..

Crack-cocaine news time, gang!

The illustrious Mayor of Toronto, Kommissar Rob Robert Bobby Booby Ford, looking like a dithering*, hemorrhaging walrus, has recently caused quite the scandal, mainly in his handling of an accusation that he has enjoyed the pleasures of sucking the glass dick. 

Most public figures would flatly deny participating in such a low-life high, but Bobby has been bizarrely wishy-washy on the whole thing, as if crack use is kind of a socially acceptable past time, like drinking alcool and smoking an entire pack of Dunhills.

Try typing "man who smokes crack" into Google right now, see what comes up.

According to some, he's a straight shooter and speaks his mind. If this is true, then, yes, he may very well have smoked the rock of ages, because his response to this issue has been absolutely cracktastic!

According to New Jack City, one of the greatest Ice-T movies of all time (other than Tommy and the Cool Mule) "I'm not guilty. You're the one that's guilty. The lawmakers, the politicians, the Columbian drug lords, all you who lobby against making drugs legal. Just like you did with alcohol during the prohibition. You're the one who's guilty. I mean, c'mon, let's kick the ballistics here: Ain't no Uzi's made in Harlem! Not one of us up in here owns a poppy field. This thing is bigger than Nino Brown. This is big business. This is the American way.."

*"dithering …one of the earliest applications of dither came during World War II. Airplane bombers used mechanical computers to perform navigation and bomb trajectory calculations. Curiously, these computers (boxes filled with hundreds of gears and cogs) performed more accurately when flying on board the aircraft, and less well on ground! Engineers realized that the vibration from the aircraft reduced the error from sticky moving parts. Instead of moving in short jerks, they moved more continuously. Small vibrating motors were built into the computers, and their vibration was called dither from the Middle English verb "didderen," meaning "to tremble." Today, when you tap a mechanical meter to increase its accuracy, you are applying dither, and modern dictionaries define dither as a highly nervous, confused, or agitated state. In minute quantities, dither successfully makes a digitization system a little more analog in the good sense of the word." Sooo Rob Ford dithers when he doesn't get his fix!!